Joe Torre Is Just Resting His Eyes

With the Yankees' loss tonight to the Tampa Bay Rays (we're cutting-edge), you can just about call it a night on the American League's regular season. The Indians have made up for the failures of the last two season, the Angels have cruised past their flawed rivals, and there will be no 1978 redux; the Red Sox have taken the American League East.

With that decided, we decided tonight would be a good time to talk about something we've been thinking for a long time but have been reluctant to putout there--Joe Torre is a bad manager AND doesn't particularly care what you think about it. Now, we were thinking about putting up a breakdown of all the games Joe Torre has personally blown/given away this season, but we were told that Blogger's software is incapable of storing and loading that amount of text.

Instead we will just look at tonight's game and point out where Joe went wrong and/or decided to throw the game because he has been asked to actually pay attention to what happens on the field for quite a while and that's just asking a lot from a man of his age, stature and condition and he would rather chillax until the playoffs start and he can watch Angels run wild on the basepaths while he does nothing to even attempt to upset their strategy.

1. Kei Igawa started
Roger Clemens has a "hamstring strain" and Kei was the "emergency starter." Now when Roger is out playing 18 with bff Andy Pettitte and throwing down shrimp cocktails at Scores that evening, will we be expected to believe he has a strained hamstring? Face the facts, Roger Clemens is 59 years old--something is hurting at all times. Joe paid him off in Propecia and Nasonex.

2. Edwar Ramirez pitched
Maybe you don't know who Edwar Ramirez is... and you shouldn't. He sucks. Edwar is the guy that got caught up in the afterglow of Joba Chamberlain/Phil Hughes/Ian Kennedy's legitimately good rookie seasons. In years past, Edwar would not only find himself out of a job at the Major League level for the Yankees, but DFA'd and on the Royals. Instead, everyone has decided to be like "but look, we can produce pitching!!1!" and let this guy hang himself repeatedly. For an example of (1) why Edwar will most likely not be long for the Yankees and (2) why Joe Torre is an idiot, read this.

3. Brian Bruney pitched right after Edwar
I can't even summon up the strength to insult this guy. Just get him out of my sight. You let up multiple runs in relief to a team that can't even decide whether it's named after an animal with a negative Q rating or the sunlight that will never penetrate the ceiling of its aesthetic disaster of a home ballpark. Take your things and leave.

4. Jeff Karstens lost the game
Yeah, Jeff Karstens. I mean, there isn't a division title or anything on the line... let's go to Jeff Karstens and see what happens. It's not like he has a 10.43 ERA, has amassed 4 losses in 7 appearances, or has issued 9 walks in 15 innings or anything.


All I ask is that Joe simply take a few days off in the future rather than throw games so he can go back to napping on the bench with his hand down his pants.