Belts, shoelaces confiscated in San Diego

It's been a tough week to be a San Diego sports fan. The Padres choked away the season over the weekend, and the Chargers playoff chances have been AJ Smithed, leading the entire Bolts Nation to long for the days of 2nd and 12 draw plays, heralding the promise of Marty Ball.

With LTBNRLT crying at press conferences, and Jake Peavy showing that his choking is no longer an illusion of sample size, we have to believe that most of San Diego is currently on suicide watch.

Padres bloggers are giving their own LTBNRLT press conferences as well. Over at Gaslamp Ball they're lashing out at the world, accusing Matt Holliday of roiding. This coming from fans of a team that includes not one, but both Giles brothers. Irony abounds. Supernatural conspiracy theories are also being invoked.

It just seems a little indicative of the fact that deep down inside, everybody knew that something else was working against the Padres. Call it a curse. Call it a lack of faith. There was something else working against us and it was palpable and it would not be satisfied until we were eliminated.

Obviously they have forgotten that the Colorado Rockies are the chosen team of Jesus Christ,the only Son of God, begotten, not made, one in Being with the Father.

But we urge San Diego fans to move on from the denial phase and accept that purely natural forces were at work, like Trevor Hoffman's blocked esophagus. Embrace the choke, learn to live with it.