Week 5: Mike Shanahan DID A BAD JOB

The San Diego Chargers are a bad football team, so bad in fact that it is possible Mike Shanahan woke up last Monday and saw San Diego on the schedule and thought "hmm, we have two bye weeks in a row."

How hard could it be? The Broncos play their games higher than any other team in the NFL, and that was before they signed Travis Henry. The altitude gives the Broncos an advantage that is difficult for any team to overcome.

Shanahan then proceeded to be out coached by Norv Turner, something that our stat department says has never happened in the history of football. It's the football equivalent of that ball hogging autistic kid draining eleven threes to run up the score.

Now, last season the Broncos were contending for first place until they changed QBs from THE SNAKE to THE GUNSLINGER. THE GUNSLINGER then proceeded to lose three games and the Broncos were eliminated from playoff contention.

So the obvious decision was to fire the defensive coordinator. The Broncos hired Jim Bates who shored up Denver's defensive line by signing free-lance fat person Sam Adams to fatten up the front seven.

Sir Fattington couldn't do anything to stop Michael Turner from rushing for 150 yards in relief of LTBNRLT who could only muster 3.2 YPC after wearing himself out from all the post game press conference crying over the past two weeks.

After the game, Phillip Rivers called the Broncos defense "Vanilla", and if anybody knows Vanilla, it's Phillip Rivers.

IF YOU COACH A TEAM SO POORLY THAT THEY LOSE AT HOME BY THE WORST MARGIN IN FORTY YEARS TO A TEAM THAT IS A WALKING PUNCH LINE, YOU DID A BAD JOB...A TERRIBLE JOB.


Honorable Mentions:

Shaun Alexander
Drew Brees
Larry Johnson


What it means to DO A BAD JOB:

1. Lose
2. Be one of the main reasons your team lost
3. General terriblelyness